Artist Interview // John Brown
johnbrown.photography
Nashville photographer John Brown
This month’s feature on photographer John Brown took us out to coffee at Ugly Mugs in East Nashville on overcast Friday morning. The weather was gloomy, but we were happy to have a chance to catch up with our friend. With an effervescent personality and a warm smile, he welcomed us into one of his favorite places in the city and a home-away-from-home.
LOVE LOCAL NASHVILLE: You currently reside in East Nashville, but you aren't from here originally. Where were you born?
JOHN BROWN: Germany.
LLN: Germany?
JB: Yeah, I was born in Wurzburg, Germany.
LLN: How long have you been here?
JB: About five years now. It seems longer, it seems less.
LLN: How did you end up in Nashville?
JB: Church. I was actually--, I was a truck driver, driving semi trucks and a friend invited me to a church up here and I started going whenever I was home. I would commute from Shelbyville, which I lived there a long time. And I had a close call driving and almost died and kinda decided it wasn’t my calling in life and moved up here. I had a nice little group of friends already and Nashville had music and art. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with it, but I knew I wanted to do something, so--. That was December of 2009, when I first moved to Nashville.
LLN: Do you consider yourself and artist first and a photographer second or vice versa? Are they the same thing, because there is some argument that maybe it’s not, definitely that not all photographers can be considered artists.
JB: Do I consider myself an artist first and a photographer second? I think it’s all a weird confidence, self-esteem thing with me. Some days I wake up and I think, ‘Yeah, I’m an artist-slash-photographer,’ and, I dunno, some days I wake up and I just feel like I am hanging on by threads. I think there’s a lot of truth to that whole ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ thing. I feel like that’s pretty much how I feel every day. Like, I have no idea what I’m doing “Wow! Those colors are neat,” I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel like I am, I just know I love it. It’s even kind of weird making business cards with my name on them, having a title underneath. I don’t feel like I’ve passed that test. I feel like there should be an exam or something and I don’t feel like I would pass it, but it’s okay. But yeah, I’m an artist first, because I’m too emotional.
LLN: When you decided to seriously pursue photography and go into a creative profession, which can be intimidating, did you have any doubt that it was the right thing to do?
JB: Fuck yes. I still doubt it. I’m so poor right now, but I’m happy. I went into this—this is the first time that I’ve done this full time, it’s all I do. I just kind of refuse to work for people anymore. I always get—I don’t get what I need. Like, even if the money’s good, I don’t feel appreciated for my effort. I’m all about putting in 110% and I love people, every job has people. I quit working for people and two weeks later had an awful, awful breakup. So the next two weeks after that I was completely worthless and I didn’t sleep or eat or do anything, so that didn’t help either. So, yeah the struggle is real. I’ve been just getting by, being like “Hey, can you pay me early so I can pay rent today?” That happened today, actually. I don’t remember what you were asking me, but yeah, I’m pretty poor.
LLN: Yeah, but poor and happy?
JB: Yeah.
LLN: That counts for something.
JB: Yeah and really scared.
LLN: I don’t think you’re doing it right if you’re not poor and really scared once or twice in your life. There’s something to be said about the starving artists. A lot of the people who we’ve come to know as The Greats now, were right exactly where we are right now, which is something. If they could do it, why couldn’t we?
JB: Yeah. But we hear about The Greats, but what about all the other people who didn’t make it? Did they just die? Or did they just end up working at Wal-Mart or something? Who knows? Maybe I’ll live out of my car, too.
LLN: But it makes for a good story in the future, if nothing else.
JB: I should probably learn how to camp now while I have a roof over my head.
LLN: Yeah, you should definitely do that, though. Can you describe for us your personal style of photography? What do you want a person to see when they look at one of your photographs?
JB: Um, I try to figure that out every day, what my style is and I don’t know. I think I have more of an art background, so I think a lot about composition. I think that’s usually what I focus on first. I really love embracing kind of a nostalgic look. That’s been kind of more recent. I tend to love a little bit warmer colors. I don’t know. Every shoot’s a little different and I approach every shoot a little differently. I feel like there are a lot of rules sometimes with photos and art, in general and I feel like I don’t know what they are, except that you don’t shoot somebody holding a guitar on railroad tracks with a lens flare. I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I’m just figuring it out as I go, but I definitely have this list in my head of things that I don’t know about. It pops up when I’m working. ‘Oh, I don’t like that, oh I like this.” It’s already there, it’s already written out. I just couldn’t tell you what it is.
LLN: You would prefer a more organic approach versus something more focused on the technical aspects?
JB: Oh my gosh, I don’t feel like I’m even allowed to use the word technical. Yeah, 99% of my shoots have been natural light. I am starting to venture out into some lighting stuff now. Most of that’s just because I’m poor and I don’t have lighting gear. It’s been kind of fun experimenting with friends and things like that. I really try to avoid things that I’ve seen before. Not that—I don’t think I have anything that’s super original, but if I’ve seen it before, I really don’t want it to be so obvious that it’s been done. It’s like stuff with the sun around people’s heads. It’s cool. I’ve even done it a couple of times before, but it’s just not inspiring to me. It’s already been done a thousand times. Like, photographers kind of do the same pictures, like for engagements or whatever. People want that stuff, but it drives me crazy. I don’t want to shoot that stuff.
LLN: That actually brings up another question. How hard is it to have a signature when you’re doing commercial photography? Specifically things like weddings, engagements and, like senior portraits, where maybe there’s less room to be creative because people go into the shoot wanting very specific looking photographs?
JB: That’s why I don’t do weddings. At all.
LLN: That’s a good answer.
JB: Yeah, it is hard. It’s easier to say, “Okay, you like my photos, you like what I do, so just let me do it.” I’m all about ideas and collaborations, but I think it gets harder the more specific they want something. Sometimes it will work, but there’s a weird line there between creativity and meeting demands. But it’s part of it. You have to suck it up sometimes to pay your rent. Most of the time everybody’s pretty cool. Most of the time it works. I think honestly, it bothers me more if I’m on a shoot and people just kind of start throwing out direction. But people are people, that’s the way it is. It’s always an adventure every time.
JB: Do you prefer to shoot “regular” people or models? Do you have a preference?
LLN: I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot lately. I don’t-- I mean, there are models. People do model, it is a profession and it is a title and I get that, but in a weird way, I don’t really believe they exist. I feel like if you give that word too much power, it makes the rest of humanity feel uncomfortable in front of cameras because they’re not models. There’s not really a difference. It’s a choice. It’s not like, a physical difference. People look different, but we’re all the same. I think it’s interesting how if I’m doing a shoot with a person who is “normal,” they say the same thing that models say “Oh, I don’t look good.” Or “This is my good side.” Everyone’s insecure about the same things, but it’s kind of funny because I haven’t worked with very many people who are very vain. I’m sure they’re out there.
LLN: They’re out there.
JB: Everybody’s been, either they don’t say anything or they’re insecure. It is easier for me if they’re comfortable, whether they’re insecure or not. If I can just get them to loosen up and ask, “Hey would you actually stand that way in real life? Then don’t stand that way.” That makes a big difference. I just like people. I don’t really care what you do. I’m just interested in your story.
LLN: If you could photograph and person living or dead, who would it be?
JB: Can I have two people instead? This might be kind of cliché in Nashville, but I don’t know, I would love to photograph Ray LaMontagne. He saved my life and kind of continually does so. I think it would be neat to have one photo of him that nobody else has. At probably my lowest low, when my life was a complete train wreck and I heard his song ‘Empty,’ and I was like, “Oh my God, that’s exactly how I feel.” It even makes me want to cry thinking about that right now. I listened to that song for 9 months straight, every day on repeat, rarely listening to anything else. If I listened to anything else, it was Mutemath a couple of times, that was if I was having a good day, but then I would go right back to it. On my PC, back when Windows Media Player was still kickin’, it played in the thousands. Like, I played that song thousands of times and it kept me sane. It probably kept me from getting to that point where suicide would have been an option, or a thought. I never got to that point, but yeah. He literally saved my life, and then on the next album had a song that was even closer. It made me feel like he has been stalking me and wrote this song about me. It’s just been that way ever since. The other person is Lisa Hannigan, just because of her voice.
LLN: I love her so much.
JB: If I could marry her voice, I totally would. She just seems so nice.
LLN: Do you have a favorite artist or photographer? Somebody whose work you just really dig?
JB: I really like Jeremy Cowart’s work. He’s a Nashville guy. I’ve never met him. He seems cool. I like a lot of the stuff he does technique wise. As far as really loving someone’s work, I think Gerhard Richter is my favorite painter. He’s from Germany and I just love his story. He was young when World War 2 went on and he was on the other side of the Berlin Wall. You know, I was in Belgium when the wall came down. My dad was gone for like a whole two weeks because of that, so it was kind of neat watching a documentary about him and sort of having maybe a little more perspective on it than if I had grown up in Tennessee my whole life. I love his work. I could look at his stuff all day.
LLN: Who inspired you, ultimately, to have the guts to go for it and be a dreamer as opposed to settling in some job you hate just because you felt like you were supposed to?
JB: Um, that could make me cry. A lot of people and that’s what’s so crazy, a lot of people. A lot of friends and family. My good friend Matt Underwood. I was coming up with a Plan B in case this doesn’t work out and I remember him saying something like, “You shouldn’t even have a Plan B if you’re trying Plan A, because then you’re just not having faith in yourself.” It’s just insane. It’s crazy how much help I’ve had in my life. I got my first camera for free. I got my first computer with my tax return from driving. It was literally ten dollars more and I bought a soda after. My friend gave me photo editing software. My friends let me borrow stuff all the time. My friend did a write-up for me in the newspaper. I can’t even think of everything. It makes me feel really depressed, but also really humble because I want to be self-sufficient and I hate asking for help, but I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for this whole Nashville community helping me out. I’d probably be dead somewhere, or really skinnier than I already am. It’s pretty amazing. I could make a list of people who’ve gotten me to this point. It’s overwhelming to think about, because I haven’t really thought about it that way before.
LLN: Where do you feel most at home?
JB: Now? My friend’s office. My friend just moved into Marathon Village. He makes documentaries and he gave me a set of keys. He lets me use his cameras and his office. I go there at midnight sometimes and there’s nobody around. It’s kind of creepy, but also very beautiful. It’s a very nice place to work. It’s actually been kind of weird how little I’m home. I never see my roommates anymore. I just posted a picture of it yesterday, “home away from home.” It’s kind of what I enjoy. I would stay there all the time if I didn’t have to sleep. I think this place, too. Ugly Mugs. A lot of my friends work here and the people who work here are my friends, which is kind of funny how that works. I just feel home in Nashville. I have a lot of homes up here.
LLN: That’s good. What is your worst nightmare?
JB: Probably being in another shitty relationship. Or divorce or something like that. Not that I have to be with someone. I’m 28, so I think about it a lot more now. My parents met and went on three dates, got married at midnight and they’ve been married for 41 years and I just have no idea if I’m ever going to find anything like that the way things are these days. That’s kind of depressing. I guess maybe being single the rest of my life and not ever having something like what they have. They love each other. It’s pretty funny, my dad’s Facebook profile picture is a picture of my mom swimming and the caption is something like, “Check out the hot blonde at the lake” or whatever. I dream of having something like what they have.
LLN: In the same sort of vein, what aspect of the future is most promising to you? What do you look most forward to, potentially?
JB: I actually… can’t see that. I have—I mean, I have dreams. I’d love to be successful with my work, but I really don’t even know what that would look like or where it would take me. It’s very uncertain. I think I--, When I was younger, I had this idea of what my life would look like, even just a year away and that has been completely different. I just had my ten year high school reunion at my house, because I’m cool like that. It’s hilarious, because I was not cool in high school. Any idea I’ve had in my head of what the future would look like has been completely wrong. I wouldn’t even say the opposite, because that would mean that I almost had an idea, but it’s even worse than that. My life has been so insane and the places I have been are so weird, it’s like, why did I drive a semi-truck, that was the weirdest thing ever. That’s not something I planned on. I didn’t finish college. Started school again this year and I quit. It’s just weird. That was a plan. I was going to be in college for three years, I quit after five weeks. So, yeah I try not to even think about it anymore. Whenever I make plans they are never what I want them to be.
LLN: Do you have any shameless addicitions?
JB: Tinder. Sometimes, if I’m really bored, I swipe right on everybody just to see who likes me back. It’s so awful, but addicted. I think everybody’s on Tinder these days. It kind of defeats itself. It’s stupid and ridiculous, but it’s fun when you’re bored.
LLN: If you had a theme song, what would it be?
JB: The theme song from “Taxi.” That song means a lot to me because when I first moved to Nashville, this guy let me stay with him for free. He was a super good guy who helped me out a lot. One of our things was watching Taxi together, like seasons of Taxi. That show is beautiful and it always has kind of a moral message at the end and the song is just awesome. Very old jazz and instrumental. That’s definitely my theme song.
LLN: Who is your favorite fictional character?
JB: I’m really into superheroes and heroes. I think when I was young, it probably would have been Superman. Since I’ve gotten older and shit’s got real, I’m definitely a more Batman guy now, very dark. I love heroes in general. It probably depends on what movie is coming out as to who is my favorite. I always wanted to be a superhero. In fact, I remember-- there’s so many things wrong with this—when I was like four, I prayed to Santa to bring me a RoboCop suit so I could help people. I did get the cool, little glove thing. It’s like this big, hard plastic glove with a giant gun in it and you get the headset so you can talk and sound like RoboCop. So, I did get that, but I don’t think I saved anyone with it.
LLN: I’m sure that you did. Do you have a favorite movie? Has anything stood the test of time for you?
JB: It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s my favorite movie ever.
LLN: What about that movie appeals to you?
JB: I love that I only watch it once a year and Jimmy Stewart. I love Jimmy Stewart. I love black and white films. I don’t watch enough of them. I love the whole line about the moon. I love it because I watch it once a year and every time I watch it, it’s almost like it’s new again. It makes me think of my family because we watched it a lot together when I still lived at home. It’s just a classy movie. I love the way romance was in those days, except the men slapping women around thing. I feel like movies like that have something that new movies just don’t have and might never have.
LLN: Are you into any local music right now?
JB: Levi Weaver is a favorite. My roommate played drums for him, Jeremy McCormack. I got to be on his new album. I mean, I wasn’t really on it. There were like fifteen of us doing “oohs and aahs,” but it made me feel really good about myself. There are so many musicians here, but he’s definitely a favorite. Anna Johnson. She’s been going to my church for a long time and I just listened to her music last week and I feel so awful because her voice is angelic. She’s really talented on the guitar. I was really surprised. She’s a singer-songwriter, but I was really surprised how cool the studio stuff was. There’s a lot of cool stuff going on there. I definitely need to dive more into music, I think.
LLN: What’s the first record you ever bought?
JB: I remember the first cd I ever got. It was a present. Will Smith’s ‘Big Willie Style.’ That was my first cd ever. I got it with a boom box. My first cassette tape was Blackstreet ‘No Diggity.’ I was way too young to be listening to that, but—I’m trying to think of something I bought. I don’t know. The Beatles have always been around, but I never had to buy them because my dad had them. I remember being really into Jack Johnson when he was new. I bought all of his cds. Yeah, my musical life has changed a lot since my high school days. I used to be a big rocker and then shit got real and I couldn’t’ really listen to rock anymore. For some reason, after all that stuff I went through, I couldn’t really do aggressive music anymore. 102.9 The Buzz, as much as I love them, I just couldn’t do it. Now, I’m all over the place.
LLN: We’re going t keep talking about music for a few minutes. How important is the music you listen to now in the creative process?
JB: I can take it a step further than that. Music is like my oxygen. I have it on all the time. I don’t really go without it, whether I’m being creative or not. I actually kind of miss not having to drive further than ten minutes, because everything in Nashville is ten minutes apart and I used to be able to listen to a whole album at once and now I have to break it up during my day. I can’t function in silence. Sometimes I can, but music is a constant thing. I just have to have it all the time. As far as being creative, it’s absolutely necessary. Absolutely.
LLN: You kind of touched on this a bit earlier, but what is it about this place [Ugly Mugs] that you love so much?
JB: This was probably my first real coffee shop experience that wasn’t Starbuck’s or a truck stop. It’s the first place I ever became friends with the people working here and now, of course I’m friends with the owner, he’s a cool dude and his wife is awesome. We go to the same church. We have history and they’ve helped me out before. They give me coffee on my birthday or if I’m really depressed. If I come in really sad and they can tell, usually I’ll get a free coffee and that’s really nice. They care. It’s nice to come somewhere where they care and know your name. They can tell if you’re happy or not and they actually care one way or the other. I know if I ever got my shit together and wanted to display some stuff at some point, that would be an option. They’re all about community here. And the coffee’s good. It doesn’t feel like a business to me. It just feels like my friends’ house or something.
LLN: Do you have a favorite thing about Nashville? We get “the music” a lot and “the people,” which are both great things, so those are totally viable answers.
JB: I love that I feel like myself here. I feel more like a whole person here than I do anywhere else. I guess that means it’s home. I don’t have anything against Shelbyville, really. I didn’t enjoy it. I think just because I didn’t know who I was and I couldn’t relate to people when I was living there. There’s nothing wrong with being in a small town. It’s great for a lot of things, but I think I needed something different. It’s always kind of weird going back, mostly because, I think of the memories. I always get a strange feeling going back. Yeah, I just love being up here. I just really feel like I know who I am.
LLN: That’s excellent. Is there anything else you want to tell us?
JB: I will say, as far as music that really inspires me to be creative, I probably listen to Thom Yorke-- Anything Thom Yorke, anything Radiohead, anything Atoms for Peace. Atoms for Peace is probably my favorite album of all time, just as an album. But it’s like a different favorite. Ray LaMontagne is like, “Oh, I saved your life,” Tom Yorke’s like… “I am your life.” It’s like every day. My alarm is the intro from the Atoms for Peace album. It wakes me up every day.
LOVE LOCAL NASHVILLE: You currently reside in East Nashville, but you aren't from here originally. Where were you born?
JOHN BROWN: Germany.
LLN: Germany?
JB: Yeah, I was born in Wurzburg, Germany.
LLN: How long have you been here?
JB: About five years now. It seems longer, it seems less.
LLN: How did you end up in Nashville?
JB: Church. I was actually--, I was a truck driver, driving semi trucks and a friend invited me to a church up here and I started going whenever I was home. I would commute from Shelbyville, which I lived there a long time. And I had a close call driving and almost died and kinda decided it wasn’t my calling in life and moved up here. I had a nice little group of friends already and Nashville had music and art. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with it, but I knew I wanted to do something, so--. That was December of 2009, when I first moved to Nashville.
LLN: Do you consider yourself and artist first and a photographer second or vice versa? Are they the same thing, because there is some argument that maybe it’s not, definitely that not all photographers can be considered artists.
JB: Do I consider myself an artist first and a photographer second? I think it’s all a weird confidence, self-esteem thing with me. Some days I wake up and I think, ‘Yeah, I’m an artist-slash-photographer,’ and, I dunno, some days I wake up and I just feel like I am hanging on by threads. I think there’s a lot of truth to that whole ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ thing. I feel like that’s pretty much how I feel every day. Like, I have no idea what I’m doing “Wow! Those colors are neat,” I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel like I am, I just know I love it. It’s even kind of weird making business cards with my name on them, having a title underneath. I don’t feel like I’ve passed that test. I feel like there should be an exam or something and I don’t feel like I would pass it, but it’s okay. But yeah, I’m an artist first, because I’m too emotional.
LLN: When you decided to seriously pursue photography and go into a creative profession, which can be intimidating, did you have any doubt that it was the right thing to do?
JB: Fuck yes. I still doubt it. I’m so poor right now, but I’m happy. I went into this—this is the first time that I’ve done this full time, it’s all I do. I just kind of refuse to work for people anymore. I always get—I don’t get what I need. Like, even if the money’s good, I don’t feel appreciated for my effort. I’m all about putting in 110% and I love people, every job has people. I quit working for people and two weeks later had an awful, awful breakup. So the next two weeks after that I was completely worthless and I didn’t sleep or eat or do anything, so that didn’t help either. So, yeah the struggle is real. I’ve been just getting by, being like “Hey, can you pay me early so I can pay rent today?” That happened today, actually. I don’t remember what you were asking me, but yeah, I’m pretty poor.
LLN: Yeah, but poor and happy?
JB: Yeah.
LLN: That counts for something.
JB: Yeah and really scared.
LLN: I don’t think you’re doing it right if you’re not poor and really scared once or twice in your life. There’s something to be said about the starving artists. A lot of the people who we’ve come to know as The Greats now, were right exactly where we are right now, which is something. If they could do it, why couldn’t we?
JB: Yeah. But we hear about The Greats, but what about all the other people who didn’t make it? Did they just die? Or did they just end up working at Wal-Mart or something? Who knows? Maybe I’ll live out of my car, too.
LLN: But it makes for a good story in the future, if nothing else.
JB: I should probably learn how to camp now while I have a roof over my head.
LLN: Yeah, you should definitely do that, though. Can you describe for us your personal style of photography? What do you want a person to see when they look at one of your photographs?
JB: Um, I try to figure that out every day, what my style is and I don’t know. I think I have more of an art background, so I think a lot about composition. I think that’s usually what I focus on first. I really love embracing kind of a nostalgic look. That’s been kind of more recent. I tend to love a little bit warmer colors. I don’t know. Every shoot’s a little different and I approach every shoot a little differently. I feel like there are a lot of rules sometimes with photos and art, in general and I feel like I don’t know what they are, except that you don’t shoot somebody holding a guitar on railroad tracks with a lens flare. I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I’m just figuring it out as I go, but I definitely have this list in my head of things that I don’t know about. It pops up when I’m working. ‘Oh, I don’t like that, oh I like this.” It’s already there, it’s already written out. I just couldn’t tell you what it is.
LLN: You would prefer a more organic approach versus something more focused on the technical aspects?
JB: Oh my gosh, I don’t feel like I’m even allowed to use the word technical. Yeah, 99% of my shoots have been natural light. I am starting to venture out into some lighting stuff now. Most of that’s just because I’m poor and I don’t have lighting gear. It’s been kind of fun experimenting with friends and things like that. I really try to avoid things that I’ve seen before. Not that—I don’t think I have anything that’s super original, but if I’ve seen it before, I really don’t want it to be so obvious that it’s been done. It’s like stuff with the sun around people’s heads. It’s cool. I’ve even done it a couple of times before, but it’s just not inspiring to me. It’s already been done a thousand times. Like, photographers kind of do the same pictures, like for engagements or whatever. People want that stuff, but it drives me crazy. I don’t want to shoot that stuff.
LLN: That actually brings up another question. How hard is it to have a signature when you’re doing commercial photography? Specifically things like weddings, engagements and, like senior portraits, where maybe there’s less room to be creative because people go into the shoot wanting very specific looking photographs?
JB: That’s why I don’t do weddings. At all.
LLN: That’s a good answer.
JB: Yeah, it is hard. It’s easier to say, “Okay, you like my photos, you like what I do, so just let me do it.” I’m all about ideas and collaborations, but I think it gets harder the more specific they want something. Sometimes it will work, but there’s a weird line there between creativity and meeting demands. But it’s part of it. You have to suck it up sometimes to pay your rent. Most of the time everybody’s pretty cool. Most of the time it works. I think honestly, it bothers me more if I’m on a shoot and people just kind of start throwing out direction. But people are people, that’s the way it is. It’s always an adventure every time.
JB: Do you prefer to shoot “regular” people or models? Do you have a preference?
LLN: I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot lately. I don’t-- I mean, there are models. People do model, it is a profession and it is a title and I get that, but in a weird way, I don’t really believe they exist. I feel like if you give that word too much power, it makes the rest of humanity feel uncomfortable in front of cameras because they’re not models. There’s not really a difference. It’s a choice. It’s not like, a physical difference. People look different, but we’re all the same. I think it’s interesting how if I’m doing a shoot with a person who is “normal,” they say the same thing that models say “Oh, I don’t look good.” Or “This is my good side.” Everyone’s insecure about the same things, but it’s kind of funny because I haven’t worked with very many people who are very vain. I’m sure they’re out there.
LLN: They’re out there.
JB: Everybody’s been, either they don’t say anything or they’re insecure. It is easier for me if they’re comfortable, whether they’re insecure or not. If I can just get them to loosen up and ask, “Hey would you actually stand that way in real life? Then don’t stand that way.” That makes a big difference. I just like people. I don’t really care what you do. I’m just interested in your story.
LLN: If you could photograph and person living or dead, who would it be?
JB: Can I have two people instead? This might be kind of cliché in Nashville, but I don’t know, I would love to photograph Ray LaMontagne. He saved my life and kind of continually does so. I think it would be neat to have one photo of him that nobody else has. At probably my lowest low, when my life was a complete train wreck and I heard his song ‘Empty,’ and I was like, “Oh my God, that’s exactly how I feel.” It even makes me want to cry thinking about that right now. I listened to that song for 9 months straight, every day on repeat, rarely listening to anything else. If I listened to anything else, it was Mutemath a couple of times, that was if I was having a good day, but then I would go right back to it. On my PC, back when Windows Media Player was still kickin’, it played in the thousands. Like, I played that song thousands of times and it kept me sane. It probably kept me from getting to that point where suicide would have been an option, or a thought. I never got to that point, but yeah. He literally saved my life, and then on the next album had a song that was even closer. It made me feel like he has been stalking me and wrote this song about me. It’s just been that way ever since. The other person is Lisa Hannigan, just because of her voice.
LLN: I love her so much.
JB: If I could marry her voice, I totally would. She just seems so nice.
LLN: Do you have a favorite artist or photographer? Somebody whose work you just really dig?
JB: I really like Jeremy Cowart’s work. He’s a Nashville guy. I’ve never met him. He seems cool. I like a lot of the stuff he does technique wise. As far as really loving someone’s work, I think Gerhard Richter is my favorite painter. He’s from Germany and I just love his story. He was young when World War 2 went on and he was on the other side of the Berlin Wall. You know, I was in Belgium when the wall came down. My dad was gone for like a whole two weeks because of that, so it was kind of neat watching a documentary about him and sort of having maybe a little more perspective on it than if I had grown up in Tennessee my whole life. I love his work. I could look at his stuff all day.
LLN: Who inspired you, ultimately, to have the guts to go for it and be a dreamer as opposed to settling in some job you hate just because you felt like you were supposed to?
JB: Um, that could make me cry. A lot of people and that’s what’s so crazy, a lot of people. A lot of friends and family. My good friend Matt Underwood. I was coming up with a Plan B in case this doesn’t work out and I remember him saying something like, “You shouldn’t even have a Plan B if you’re trying Plan A, because then you’re just not having faith in yourself.” It’s just insane. It’s crazy how much help I’ve had in my life. I got my first camera for free. I got my first computer with my tax return from driving. It was literally ten dollars more and I bought a soda after. My friend gave me photo editing software. My friends let me borrow stuff all the time. My friend did a write-up for me in the newspaper. I can’t even think of everything. It makes me feel really depressed, but also really humble because I want to be self-sufficient and I hate asking for help, but I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for this whole Nashville community helping me out. I’d probably be dead somewhere, or really skinnier than I already am. It’s pretty amazing. I could make a list of people who’ve gotten me to this point. It’s overwhelming to think about, because I haven’t really thought about it that way before.
LLN: Where do you feel most at home?
JB: Now? My friend’s office. My friend just moved into Marathon Village. He makes documentaries and he gave me a set of keys. He lets me use his cameras and his office. I go there at midnight sometimes and there’s nobody around. It’s kind of creepy, but also very beautiful. It’s a very nice place to work. It’s actually been kind of weird how little I’m home. I never see my roommates anymore. I just posted a picture of it yesterday, “home away from home.” It’s kind of what I enjoy. I would stay there all the time if I didn’t have to sleep. I think this place, too. Ugly Mugs. A lot of my friends work here and the people who work here are my friends, which is kind of funny how that works. I just feel home in Nashville. I have a lot of homes up here.
LLN: That’s good. What is your worst nightmare?
JB: Probably being in another shitty relationship. Or divorce or something like that. Not that I have to be with someone. I’m 28, so I think about it a lot more now. My parents met and went on three dates, got married at midnight and they’ve been married for 41 years and I just have no idea if I’m ever going to find anything like that the way things are these days. That’s kind of depressing. I guess maybe being single the rest of my life and not ever having something like what they have. They love each other. It’s pretty funny, my dad’s Facebook profile picture is a picture of my mom swimming and the caption is something like, “Check out the hot blonde at the lake” or whatever. I dream of having something like what they have.
LLN: In the same sort of vein, what aspect of the future is most promising to you? What do you look most forward to, potentially?
JB: I actually… can’t see that. I have—I mean, I have dreams. I’d love to be successful with my work, but I really don’t even know what that would look like or where it would take me. It’s very uncertain. I think I--, When I was younger, I had this idea of what my life would look like, even just a year away and that has been completely different. I just had my ten year high school reunion at my house, because I’m cool like that. It’s hilarious, because I was not cool in high school. Any idea I’ve had in my head of what the future would look like has been completely wrong. I wouldn’t even say the opposite, because that would mean that I almost had an idea, but it’s even worse than that. My life has been so insane and the places I have been are so weird, it’s like, why did I drive a semi-truck, that was the weirdest thing ever. That’s not something I planned on. I didn’t finish college. Started school again this year and I quit. It’s just weird. That was a plan. I was going to be in college for three years, I quit after five weeks. So, yeah I try not to even think about it anymore. Whenever I make plans they are never what I want them to be.
LLN: Do you have any shameless addicitions?
JB: Tinder. Sometimes, if I’m really bored, I swipe right on everybody just to see who likes me back. It’s so awful, but addicted. I think everybody’s on Tinder these days. It kind of defeats itself. It’s stupid and ridiculous, but it’s fun when you’re bored.
LLN: If you had a theme song, what would it be?
JB: The theme song from “Taxi.” That song means a lot to me because when I first moved to Nashville, this guy let me stay with him for free. He was a super good guy who helped me out a lot. One of our things was watching Taxi together, like seasons of Taxi. That show is beautiful and it always has kind of a moral message at the end and the song is just awesome. Very old jazz and instrumental. That’s definitely my theme song.
LLN: Who is your favorite fictional character?
JB: I’m really into superheroes and heroes. I think when I was young, it probably would have been Superman. Since I’ve gotten older and shit’s got real, I’m definitely a more Batman guy now, very dark. I love heroes in general. It probably depends on what movie is coming out as to who is my favorite. I always wanted to be a superhero. In fact, I remember-- there’s so many things wrong with this—when I was like four, I prayed to Santa to bring me a RoboCop suit so I could help people. I did get the cool, little glove thing. It’s like this big, hard plastic glove with a giant gun in it and you get the headset so you can talk and sound like RoboCop. So, I did get that, but I don’t think I saved anyone with it.
LLN: I’m sure that you did. Do you have a favorite movie? Has anything stood the test of time for you?
JB: It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s my favorite movie ever.
LLN: What about that movie appeals to you?
JB: I love that I only watch it once a year and Jimmy Stewart. I love Jimmy Stewart. I love black and white films. I don’t watch enough of them. I love the whole line about the moon. I love it because I watch it once a year and every time I watch it, it’s almost like it’s new again. It makes me think of my family because we watched it a lot together when I still lived at home. It’s just a classy movie. I love the way romance was in those days, except the men slapping women around thing. I feel like movies like that have something that new movies just don’t have and might never have.
LLN: Are you into any local music right now?
JB: Levi Weaver is a favorite. My roommate played drums for him, Jeremy McCormack. I got to be on his new album. I mean, I wasn’t really on it. There were like fifteen of us doing “oohs and aahs,” but it made me feel really good about myself. There are so many musicians here, but he’s definitely a favorite. Anna Johnson. She’s been going to my church for a long time and I just listened to her music last week and I feel so awful because her voice is angelic. She’s really talented on the guitar. I was really surprised. She’s a singer-songwriter, but I was really surprised how cool the studio stuff was. There’s a lot of cool stuff going on there. I definitely need to dive more into music, I think.
LLN: What’s the first record you ever bought?
JB: I remember the first cd I ever got. It was a present. Will Smith’s ‘Big Willie Style.’ That was my first cd ever. I got it with a boom box. My first cassette tape was Blackstreet ‘No Diggity.’ I was way too young to be listening to that, but—I’m trying to think of something I bought. I don’t know. The Beatles have always been around, but I never had to buy them because my dad had them. I remember being really into Jack Johnson when he was new. I bought all of his cds. Yeah, my musical life has changed a lot since my high school days. I used to be a big rocker and then shit got real and I couldn’t’ really listen to rock anymore. For some reason, after all that stuff I went through, I couldn’t really do aggressive music anymore. 102.9 The Buzz, as much as I love them, I just couldn’t do it. Now, I’m all over the place.
LLN: We’re going t keep talking about music for a few minutes. How important is the music you listen to now in the creative process?
JB: I can take it a step further than that. Music is like my oxygen. I have it on all the time. I don’t really go without it, whether I’m being creative or not. I actually kind of miss not having to drive further than ten minutes, because everything in Nashville is ten minutes apart and I used to be able to listen to a whole album at once and now I have to break it up during my day. I can’t function in silence. Sometimes I can, but music is a constant thing. I just have to have it all the time. As far as being creative, it’s absolutely necessary. Absolutely.
LLN: You kind of touched on this a bit earlier, but what is it about this place [Ugly Mugs] that you love so much?
JB: This was probably my first real coffee shop experience that wasn’t Starbuck’s or a truck stop. It’s the first place I ever became friends with the people working here and now, of course I’m friends with the owner, he’s a cool dude and his wife is awesome. We go to the same church. We have history and they’ve helped me out before. They give me coffee on my birthday or if I’m really depressed. If I come in really sad and they can tell, usually I’ll get a free coffee and that’s really nice. They care. It’s nice to come somewhere where they care and know your name. They can tell if you’re happy or not and they actually care one way or the other. I know if I ever got my shit together and wanted to display some stuff at some point, that would be an option. They’re all about community here. And the coffee’s good. It doesn’t feel like a business to me. It just feels like my friends’ house or something.
LLN: Do you have a favorite thing about Nashville? We get “the music” a lot and “the people,” which are both great things, so those are totally viable answers.
JB: I love that I feel like myself here. I feel more like a whole person here than I do anywhere else. I guess that means it’s home. I don’t have anything against Shelbyville, really. I didn’t enjoy it. I think just because I didn’t know who I was and I couldn’t relate to people when I was living there. There’s nothing wrong with being in a small town. It’s great for a lot of things, but I think I needed something different. It’s always kind of weird going back, mostly because, I think of the memories. I always get a strange feeling going back. Yeah, I just love being up here. I just really feel like I know who I am.
LLN: That’s excellent. Is there anything else you want to tell us?
JB: I will say, as far as music that really inspires me to be creative, I probably listen to Thom Yorke-- Anything Thom Yorke, anything Radiohead, anything Atoms for Peace. Atoms for Peace is probably my favorite album of all time, just as an album. But it’s like a different favorite. Ray LaMontagne is like, “Oh, I saved your life,” Tom Yorke’s like… “I am your life.” It’s like every day. My alarm is the intro from the Atoms for Peace album. It wakes me up every day.
